Oct. 18th, 2006

on vision

Oct. 18th, 2006 09:27 am
arguchik: (jupiter)
yesterday was all about eyes and vision. i went to the eye doctor for that exam in which the optometrist dilates your pupils and then looks into your eyeball with a special scope. it turns out i have a small retinal anomaly in my left eye. in the lower left quadrant of the eyeball, the clear layer on top of my retina has detached slightly, forming a small bubble over the retina. my eye doc doesn't think this is a problem, i.e. it wasn't caused by trauma to the eye, and it's not degenerative. he wants to reexamine my eyes in a year just to make sure it's either getting better or staying the same, and not getting worse.

i've never had the pupil dilation exam before. i was not prepared for how screwed up my vision was, while the drug was still active. it took quite awhile to wear off, and it was unsettling to be so light sensitive, and so completely unable to focus on text or anything else close-up. my eyes felt bruised afterward, and they still feel a little beat up this morning. like they ran a hard race yesterday. what a weird sensation.

as if that weren't strange enough, i picked yesterday to purchase a digital camera. i ended up buying a canon sd-600. 6 megapixels, 3X optical zoom, nicely compact and user-friendly. unfortunately i had my eye appointment at 5pm, on my way home from work. wouldn't you know it? i got home, and i couldn't read, couldn't see small details. that meant i couldn't play with my cute new toy!

going to see electric 6 tonight. can't wait!

i decided to stay home and work on my prospectus this morning. i got up early to run, but was greeted by a few too many raindrops for my taste. so...i'm going to spend another hour or two on my prospectus and then hopefully head out for a run before i have to shower and get my fanny to campus.

running log

Oct. 18th, 2006 11:36 am
arguchik: (jupiter)
turns out my running route is more like 2.5 miles than 2 miles. i mapquested my address and the address of the little store on the corner where i turn around (60th st), and MQ told me the distance is "approximately 1.22 miles." how to rectify the "approximately" with the fact that they carry the number out to the hundredths place, i don't know. guess i've actually been running 2.44 miles every time i've gone out. my body has been tolerating the distance just fine, so i'm not going to worry about it.

but naturally my mind hates the idea of running a distance that's just shy of 2.5 miles, so today i went a block further than usual at the north end. MQ tells me that's about 1.31 miles, so i guess i ran 2.6 miles today. i guess that puts me at about 7.5 miles for the week, eh?

i can really feel the difference in my body, today. i like that about running--it reminds me that patient, steady, persistent effort reaps solid rewards. it's the lesson of the tortoise and the hare all over again: "slow and steady wins the race." i don't know about a race...but it definitely seems the best way to get where you're going. also the zen cliche: "a journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step." the lessons are complementary but not identical: you have to start, to get anywhere; but you have to keep going to get anywhere, too. each step you take marks a decision to continue moving in a particular direction, so that one's arrival at a particular destination, or one's achievement of a particular objective, represents countless small decisions, not one big decision.

learning this physically transfers to my approach to other things. with my dissertation, i've been paralyzed by the desire for a huge flash of inspiration, blocked by the fear that my work won't pan out. running reminds me that real progress won't happen that way. inspiration has to play a part, of course, but steady work plays a larger. waiting for inspiration is like waiting for the document to miraculate itself, when in fact inspiration is the payoff of steady, hard work. small, virtually imperceptible steps slowly add up to a new place, a new thought, a new thing.

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