eat light:

I have discovered a super easy first step to combating my writer's block. It is embarrassingly simple, and equally embarrassingly effective. Duhhh...

OPEN THE FUCKING DOCUMENT

Seriously. Once it's open, I am almost sure to read it, and once I start reading it I simply can't resist tinkering with it. This doesn't solve every writer's block issue (what about those documents that don't yet exist, for example?), but it's a huge first step. Of course, I also have to be sitting in front of my computer, but I do that a lot, so. Yeah.

microsoft word SUCKS!!!!!!!

it is the only only only program that EVER freezes my mac!

this is a pretty rare occurrence, but it has happened enough that i tend to save my work frequently, which is a really excellent habit in any case since sometimes i work on other computers. unfortunately, it just happened, and i hadn't saved my work since before i experienced a highly productive and inspired 20-minute burst of writing. i can SEE it RIGHT THERE on the SCREEN and i know it is hopelessly lost. the psychotically happy little rainbow wheel is spinning, endlessly spinning, and the program manager reads "Word (not responding)."

i am going to leave it to process while i brush my teeth....

wait...whew! it just resolved itself.

and i just successfully saved my work.

disaster averted. excuse me while i break out into a cold sweat.

man, i really really hate this fucking program. it makes life a little bit too interesting sometimes.

i am registered for dissertation credits for next quarter, and i am seriously considering doing the following rather than busting my ass to find a teaching gig:

1. taking out student loans (at this point...should i bother worrying about my total student loan debt anymore??? i currently have no other debt...)
2. finding a 10-15 hour/week part time job, perhaps working in a bookstore or--HA!--a yarn shop. i would consider tutoring or some other job on campus, as long as it didn't require me to bring ANY work home with me. the purpose of having this job would be threefold: a) bring in some extra money (i could probably live on the loans, but it would be tight); b) get me out interacting with people more regularly; and c) give my days a little bit more structure.

i have established a good writing rhythm this quarter, and have built up a nice amount of momentum--the pages are accumulating. i'm not sure i want to deflect any of that energy into a new teaching assignment right now. if my goal is to finish my dissertation ASAP, it seems like i should do everything i possibly can to protect my time. (this was one of several problems i had with my last "part-time" non-academic job...so it's something i worry about.)

the question, of course, is whether or not this will hurt my CV. i think not, as long as i'm continuing to develop myself professionally--submitting papers for publication and going to conferences, participating in groups and going to talks on campus, etc. and, of course, as long as i continue to make steady academic progress.

any ideas?

yeah, so i went to see "bodies...the exhibition" in downtown seattle yesterday. i was in there for over 3 hours, and i can't believe the sheer quantity of notes i generated--lots! unfortunately, they don't allow photography of any kind, so i had to write down, verbatim, all of the bits of textual apparatus i wanted to remember and to be able to quote. in addition, i jotted down descriptions of the various displays in the exhibit (especially the full-body specimens), making note of what they emphasized (and in a couple of cases what they left out); the mood, the lighting, etc. i also purchased one of their catalogs, because it has photographs of many of the specimens that were on display (and a few that weren't), and is arranged according to a similar logic as the exhibition. i wish it contained the same textual apparatus, but it doesn't appear to. obviously it has a lot more text than the exhibition itself, but i was hoping for some replication of the various placards and signs, etc.

i guess i should explain a little... the first chapter of my dissertation will focus partly on this exhibition, so i had to go see it, even though i have political reservations about it (i don't want to go into it here, but would happily explain via email if you'd like). i tried to get a press pass, but nobody would return my calls or emails, and i was worried about missing it, so...i shelled out the $26.50 for a ticket. (re: missing it--the exhibition is supposed to end on december 31st, but i have seen indications that they might be extending their seattle stay until april; nevertheless, i didn't want to risk being wrong about that.)

wow. i'm completely amazed at what a difference these glasses are making in my life. i don't fall asleep on my books anymore. i can concentrate on a text more fully and for longer periods of time--i.e. my eyes don't wander from the text as often, so i'm getting more reading done, absorbing more from it, and enjoying it more.

my eye doc was right. i had no idea how much i was working to focus, before. when i put my glasses on, it actually feels as if they are massaging my eye muscles. of course there are still problems: they constantly slide down my nose (i've had them adjusted at the eyeglasses store twice, and will be going back for a third adjustment on saturday); they are always smudged and also difficult to clean; and walking around in the pouring rain yesterday was a pain in the ASS because glasses covered with water droplets are a major detriment to vision, thus to navigating a world full of other bodies that don't like being run into (as well as objects i don't want to run into, and cars that i don't want running into me).

when the conditions are right, though, the glasses are a godsend. viva la vision!