eat light:

I just wanted to show up here to say: I ran my first confirmed 4-miler today. I suspect I may have run at least one, and possibly two, 4-milers while in Portland, but I'm not sure. The Nike running trail is 1.96 miles long, and I ran two laps plus a little bit, both times I used it. BUT...it is also confusing because there is more to the Nike trail than just the big loop: there are crosslinks, little side trails that seem to cut across something approximating the middle. I can't say for sure because there are no signs and no maps. Also, I wasn't wearing a watch. So maybe I ran 3 miles, maybe 4. I'm not sure. But today it was definitely at least 4 miles, and maybe more like 4.1 miles. More importantly, it was an awesome run. Perfect day for it: cool, overcast, and a little bit misty but not full-on rain.

I've been meaning to post about the urban hike/epic walk I took on Saturday. I left home at around lunchtime, maybe 1pm, and stopped at the PCC for some lunchy foodz. I hiked to upper Queen Anne via this super steep hill directly across from the Fremont Bridge. While up there, I bought buttons at Nancy's Sewing Basket, and poked around a couple of sidewalk sale tables. I hooked over to the beautiful park that overlooks the city and enjoyed my lunch while sitting on the steps, admiring the view, and mildly admonishing myself for having forgotten my camera. Then I walked down the steps and zig-zagged my way into and through lower Queen Anne, crossed Denny onto 1st Ave, and walked through Belltown. Eventually I went down to Western to see if I could locate So Much Yarn, a yarn shop that recently moved to that area from its former location on 1st Ave. Turns out it's in a secure office complex upstairs from Cost Plus. I bought more buttons, fondled many beautiful skeins of yarn, played with the two French bulldogs who belong to the store owner (I'm assuming), and shot the breeze with her and the other salesperson. From there I headed into the Pike Place Market and poked around a few stalls before becoming overwhelmed by the crush of dazed tourist bodies and finally realizing that that wasn't the right place for me to be on a Saturday. LOL. So I went up into the shopping district and meandered around for a bit; tried on some shoes (didn't buy any). Next I walked up Pike into Capitol Hill. By the time I crossed the 5 and Boren Ave. I was pretty thirsty, so I stopped into the new Victrola and got a nice blackberry Italian soda. I sat on their couch and enjoyed that for a bit while playing around with some knitting. Then I headed up to Broadway, bought some band-aids for the big blister I could feel forming on the top of my big toe (I was wearing sandals). By then I was starving, so I walked north on Broadway and got some Ethiopian food for dinner. After completely gorging myself on a vege combo, I headed north again, up Broadway, down 10th Ave. to Roanoke, through the little park, along side streets until I had to join up with Harvard Ave, across the University Bridge, up the Burke-Gilman for a little bit, then up to 40th St., over to the Aurora Ave. footbridge at 41st St., and home. I got home at about 9:30pm, and I was completely spent. I showered and went straight to bed, where I read myself to sleep.

Both of these "exercise experiences" contributed to a growing thing within me: a connection to myself, my own voice, and my place in the world that has eluded me for a few years. I hadn't exactly lost touch with this thing (to me, the list of 3 things are all aspects of the same thing, rather than separate things), it was more that...I didn't like the self I had become. I felt lost and aimless and stuck, along with a sense of despair about ever being able to "move" myself or accomplish anything in the world again. I believed that "my time" (whatever that means) had come and gone, and that the best I could hope for anymore was simply to make do, get by. It sounds pretty pathetic--and it's important to point out that these weren't the only things I felt; they were mixed with happiness and appreciation for various good things in my life. The point is that I hadn't completely lost touch with myself and my feelings, it's just that I didn't like myself, and I was feeling negative things. So being in touch with that was not affirming or energizing; it was depressing, even though it was honest. That is what I was feeling, how I saw myself and my prospects, and I think it was important to be in touch with that even though it was also depressing and discouraging. I'm just glad that I'm shifting away from that now, and that I have gotten to the point where...it no longer predominates. I feel good. Happy. Strong. Capable. Interested in things. Thankful for my life and my loved ones.

I finished my 10-week "get off your butt and run" plan today! I'm very proud of myself for sticking with the plan and not trying to jump over the beginning and intermediate steps. My legs feel strong, resilient, and flexible! As is usually the case with me, my spirit/soul/psyche (whatever you want to call it) is following suit. I actually really like how interconnected my experiences of mind and body are. Sometimes it's a pain...like when I have pressing deadlines and try to make space in my schedule by skipping a couple of runs...which alwaysalwaysalways backfires. But mostly I think of this as one of my strengths.

Next up: 1 more week of running ~3 miles X4. (I'm actually running closer to 3.3 miles.) Then I'll increase my Sunday run to 4 miles (which conforms to the 10% rule) and do that for 2 weeks, then I'll start this 20-week mileage buildup plan. If all goes well with that, I will then start an actual marathon training plan.

Probably. Maybe. We'll see. I may decide that I don't want to run another marathon. I had a lot of fun running the first one, but I'm not big on the road racing. I've run a few, and the marathon was really the only one I really loved doing. My main goal right now is just to get myself up to running 25-30 miles per week--without getting injured!!!--which the above-linked mileage buildup plan hopefully will do. In my experience, that level of mileage is optimal for me, in terms of how I feel. Or...it was, 4-5 years ago. "Optimal" is obviously a variable, not a set point. So yeah, we'll see. It will be interesting to find out.

Interval 1 (9 mins running): Kind of a slog, especially the first 5-6 minutes. I felt old and mildly decrepit.

Interval 2 (2 mins walking): Phew! Stretched my arms and upper back. Yawned a lot. Legs started to feel a little bit springier.

Interval 3 (9 mins running): Nice, even, and smooth, like I could keep going at this pace all damn day if I wanted to. I felt like a "real runner" again, for the first time in a couple of years. I run an out-and-back course, and usually turn around about midway through this interval; today I had to go an extra block beyond my usual turnaround point (which means I got to that point about a minute faster than usual).

Interval 4 (2 mins walking): Legs felt a little twitchy, like..."Why are we walking, again? Who's idea was this? Can I speak with the manager, please?"

Interval 5 (9 mins running): Pure play! Legs wanted to sprint and frolic. When I got to the end of this interval, it was hard to convince myself to walk the rest of the way home.

That concludes week 6 of the plan. Next week, I'll be doing 9 minute running intervals broken up by 1 minute walking intervals. I really, really like this plan. It allows me to focus on the running rather than my watch. I do best when I don't have gadgets intruding on my consciousness too often. But also, by emphasizing time spent running rather than distance covered, it seems to short-circuit my tendency to push myself "just a little bit further" than I ought to go.

I'm amazed at the difference it is making, in my body and my mind. I am starting to feel more gregarious again, less inhibited or anxious about socializing with people. Better still, I am feeling genuinely interested in, and excited by, my academic work again.

Now I'm off to shower, and then to Essential Bakery Cafe to meet Sarah for our Destination: Yarn jaunt.

I'm sitting at the Fremont Coffee Company right now, ostensibly grading the last few papers I need to finish before tomorrow. I'm sitting next to a lovely photograph of rain droplets on spruce branches.

Today I started week 6 of the Runner's World First Steps program that I posted about a few days ago (I was in week 5 of the C-2-5k plan, so I just switched to week 5 of the RW-FS plan). This is a milestone for me because when I have tried to run the C-2-5k plan several different times in the past, I always seem to lose interest or get injured (because I try to run too fast, too early in the program) at around week 4 or 5. My running peters out, I take an unplanned month off, and then I have to start right back at square 1 when I get up the gumption to start again. It's fairly discouraging. This time...I'm making it through, and more importantly I know I will make it through, to the end of the plan and beyond. I can't explain how or why I know it, I just do. It feels good and right and true. I'm enjoying it so much; the gentle re-introduction plan seems to have enabled me to bypass the worst of the aches and pains that usually make the start of any exercise regimen so...well, achy and painful. I haven't felt anything that I would describe as "pain," only the good, mild ache of well-earned fatigue. A nice thing: I am slipping happily and naturally into a 4 day/week regimen, which I feel will be easy to transform over the summer into my ultimate goal of a 5 day/week regimen. Another nice thing: how my legs feel. I can feel them changing, getting stronger and more resilient, with each passing week. Actually, that's true of my whole body. It is soaking this up and asking for more. Oh, and...my clothes (especially my pants) are just barely starting to fit a little better, too. This is good because they were really getting too tight, and I can't afford to replace them.

That's about it for now. Back to work.

I had a wonderful run today. I kept it low and slow almost the whole time. I'm still alternating running and walking for a few more weeks yet; but I'm covering about 3.2 miles overall. Anyway, for the last half mile or so I couldn't resist pushing my pace a bit. My legs felt springy and desirous of speed. I couldn't very well deny them altogether, now, could I? It felt good...I was a little worried that "Fast Sharon" might not be in there anymore, that she might have let herself out while I was busy getting too old for this shit. But no, she's still there. She'll just require a more finessed coaxing than she used to, I think.

Mind you, she's not all that fast, objectively speaking. She...I...(whatever) do alright, but I'd never hold a candle to, say, Joan Benoit Samuelson or anything, so I should be clear that I don't mean to imply any such thing. No...by "Fast Sharon," I just mean...the fast version of me, the one who can get a bit of lead out when she's so inclined. The one who likes to be able to, every now and then.

LOL. check out this youtube video. it's kind of a smarmy ad implying that if you run a marathon you will have a good, strong, and healthy heart, which isn't necessarily true. it's a lot more complicated than that. just ask jim fixx or ryan shay... they haven't determined the cause of death for shay yet, of course, but my money's on his heart. which isn't to say that running caused either of these mens' deaths, and there is an argument to be made that fixx, anyway, lived longer than he probably would have if he hadn't started running at 35 (his father had died of a heart attack at 42, and fixx lived to be 52, so...), only that running didn't ensure heart health.

anyway, with disclaimers, this video is funny. this is exactly what i probably looked like, the day after i ran the vermont city marathon back in 2000. i especially love the guy at the end, after the logo-flash. (i guess they had to use a guy for that one...) ganked from runners:



edited to add, for your listening and viewing pleasure, my favorite band from high school:

i ran 4 miles this evening. it wasn't a bad run, overall. my legs felt a little disorganized and jumpy at first, but settled into a decent rhythm within about the first mile. at about the halfway mark i felt an irresistible urge to jump up and touch branches. today was the first time i've given in to that urge. i got a couple of funny looks from the saturday night 74th street pub crowd, but fuck it.

so i'm finishing this week at 17 miles, and i ran 5 days out of the 7, which means i met both of my goals for the week.

MxM, now pass the beer! :-D

yay! i ran 4 miles this morning. weekly running routine is back on track. i'm now at 10 miles for this week. this morning's weather was cool, wet but not raining, and overcast. the run felt amazing, like i could keep going forever.

i ran 3 miles yesterday--forgot to log it. i'm at 3 for the week. today's a regularly scheduled rest day. my goal for this week is to stay on schedule! if i do, i'll put in 17 miles this week.

the work week starts today. this week should be much quieter than last week. gotta go grocery shopping on my way home tonight--i have nothing in the house to eat! i'll have to stop somewhere to get some breakfast...