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yesterday i talked to my parents on the phone. their dementia is becoming unignorable...seeing huge differences between who they used to be and who they are. i'm having to come to terms with this change, to accept the fact that they will never be the people i remember again. this is who they are now, and they won't stay these people very long either.
my dad and i were talking about his family. he was very clear about some things--lol, the fact that it's *very* likely that my grandfather was still married to his first wife when he married my grandmother. that's what my dad's half-brother, fred, always claimed, and we have no legal documentation that my grandfather and his first wife were legally divorced--and it stands to reason. they were dirt poor. then my dad asked me if i had ever met his father. that stopped me. he was seriously asking me this question. my grandfather died of lung cancer before my parents were even dating. they knew each other--my mom was at the funeral because my dad was her boss. but my grandfather died in 1952. my parents got married in 1955. and...um...i was born in 1967.
so no, i never met the guy. none of my siblings ever met him either. a couple of my cousins did, but not us.
it's so weird, to miss my dad while he's still alive. my mom is doing better than he is, but she's on the same road. it was one thing, to see them aging and slowing down. but this (they both have vascular dementia, which is like heart disease in the brain, and caused by the same things: high fat diet and a sedentary lifestyle)... this is going to kill them. but before it does, it's going to take them away from us, bit by bit.
my dad and i were talking about his family. he was very clear about some things--lol, the fact that it's *very* likely that my grandfather was still married to his first wife when he married my grandmother. that's what my dad's half-brother, fred, always claimed, and we have no legal documentation that my grandfather and his first wife were legally divorced--and it stands to reason. they were dirt poor. then my dad asked me if i had ever met his father. that stopped me. he was seriously asking me this question. my grandfather died of lung cancer before my parents were even dating. they knew each other--my mom was at the funeral because my dad was her boss. but my grandfather died in 1952. my parents got married in 1955. and...um...i was born in 1967.
so no, i never met the guy. none of my siblings ever met him either. a couple of my cousins did, but not us.
it's so weird, to miss my dad while he's still alive. my mom is doing better than he is, but she's on the same road. it was one thing, to see them aging and slowing down. but this (they both have vascular dementia, which is like heart disease in the brain, and caused by the same things: high fat diet and a sedentary lifestyle)... this is going to kill them. but before it does, it's going to take them away from us, bit by bit.
