(no subject)

i've had a difficult email exchange today, with someone who used to be a very close friend. it's clear to me now, in a way that it wasn't before, that the friendship is not salvageable. it sucks pretty hard, but it's better to know. so i'll close the door, but i won't lock it. i never do. sometimes they open onto happiness again.

tonight i'm leaving for michigan. i wonder if my dad will recognize me. at least i know my mom will. i can't wait to see everyone--nieces, nephews, sisters, brother, mom, dad, and hopefully a few friends too. i have a couple of potentially difficult things to do while i'm there, but i plan to focus mainly on enjoying everyone's company. this time i also want to go visit my deceased loved ones in the cemetery--i didn't get to do that last time i was out--and no, this isn't one of the difficult things i have to do. i actually enjoy going to the cemetery. it's a little weird, i guess, since i don't believe in an afterlife or anything.