On my run today, I think I figured out why I've had problems with a couple of different kinds of tendinitis in my life (primarily since my mid-30's): it is incredibly difficult for me to make myself run as slowly as I ought. I love running so much, I just want to open it up and go.
After a few weeks of fits and starts, I've been following this Couch-to-5K plan pretty well. Sort of. I'm following the principle of it, i.e. to start out running and walking in equal, alternating, short intervals of 1-2 minutes, and then to gradually increase the time spent running. Train 3 days per week, etc. Anyway, it's a good plan. The best thing about it is that it has gentleness built right in. But still, during my running intervals I have to constantly remind myself to slow down, and to stop running and start walking at the end of the interval. I don't want to. I want to run fast and long. But my leg muscles and bones and assorted connective tissues aren't ready for that yet.
What I really want is to be in the kind of shape I was in a few years ago. Correcting for the fact that I'm older, of course. This desire is dangerous and ultimately self-destructive, or at least counterproductive, because it leads me to push myself too hard, too far, too fast, and that's how I get injured.
What I have to convince myself to want is simply to be in better shape than I am now, and not to worry about where I was a few years ago, or where I'll be in a year or a few years from now. My therapist likes the phrase "Live in the moment." I like that phrase, too.
Run in the moment.
I guess the plan is helping me with that. I enjoy the workouts tremendously, in and of themselves. It's easier, what with all the flowering trees and shrubs and regular flowers I get to see along my route. I've been trying to make a game out of using my running watch--see how close to the exact minute marks I can get without going over, try to predict where I'll be when the clock tells me to switch from running to walking or back again, etc. This is weird for me, because I generally don't like using any kind of gadget when I run (this includes my i-Pod), but it's easier to keep track of time than distance with this plan because it changes every week, and eventually the intervals get all mixed up and crazy, so...watch it is. The rest of the time I like to think about things, plan things, figure things out. Reassure myself. Breathe my way out of anxiety.
Oh, and my hair is now long enough for pigtails. It has been for awhile, but they actually look cute now. So...I'm a runner and a 42 year old wearer of pigtails. :-)
In other news, yesterday I finally used my 5 song credits that the i-Tunes people gave me for some weird glitch that happened when I migrated my music to my new computer. I've had them (both the computer and the credits) for a couple of years. I bought 5 different recordings of "All Along the Watchtower." Unfortunately not including Bear McCreary's, which doesn't seem to be available on i-Tunes. I got one by Jimi, one by Dylan, one by U2, one by the Indigo Girls, and one by XTC. I was surprised at how many different people have covered this song, some of them multiple times. I'm curious to compare them.
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