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arguchikahhhhh...
the birthday night was a smashing success, i have to say. i would like to extend a heartfelt THANK YOU to everyone who came out to help me celebrate.
there were odd features: a few too many different worlds colliding. it started with a relaxed, friendly meal of sushi. that was followed by two loud bars with seating that didn't properly accomodate the expanding group, and finally a dance club with literally no room on the dance floor for actual dancing. as the night progressed i felt increasingly fractured, splintered within and without--one friend said it was like being at a wedding reception, when i described the feeling, which at that point had been brought on by my bouncing from one table to the other so i could talk to everyone. which actually amounted to shouting in the general direction of whichever person i wanted to talk to, because the music was so loud we couldn't hear each other. i was extremely hoarse by the end of the night.
abstract generalized thought about this topic: why does a place that calls itself a "lounge" play music of a type and at a volume more appropriate to a dance club? a corollary: why are there no true lounges, places where groups of people can enjoy cocktails and actually socialize, in seattle?
i believe it is very closely related to the state of the planet under global capitalism, but maybe that's just me. (this is an inside joke that only one person out there will truly get...but now the rest of you know you're not truly getting it, which is pretty fun for me. see how i am??)
after the festivities wound up or down, depending on your cliche preference, i took a rambling, somewhat emotional walk up broadway, from pike to harrison, by myself. i ended the night (which was morning by then) with someone who was happy to listen, which was good. i was very sad; one might even call it a moderate "meltdown," but sometimes that is just what's called for, and it helped to inaugurate the contemplative mood i'm enjoying today. so......it's all good.
and now i feel the need to detox, both physically and psychically, to reflect on the fractures and splinters, toss the bones and divine some sort of larger meaning from them, a larger meaning that might serve as the basis for a better agenda than the one i've been following for the last year or so. i need to unearth the sense of purpose and focus i had, when i first moved to seattle for grad school. i lost that, somewhere along the way--not completely, of course; it surfaces from time to time--but it is not the driving paradigm in my life like it was. so i need to spend some time contemplating and configuring, i think. saturday and sunday (thus far) have helped. yesterday i went to a shower for some friends who are expecting twins. i spent a good hour on the floor with the hostess's big akita-shepherd mix. he is the sweetest dog. kept slapping the tip of my nose with his tongue, which made me laugh and also made my heart ache with missing perry, and more generally missing the category "dog" in my life. then i went to the illustrious miss L's house, where i still sit. her grizzly little terrier is sacked out next to me--so i'm getting more dog time, and that makes me feel deeply happy. (how much longer can i go without a dog of my own?) last night we went out for pizza and watched "der Untergang" ("The Downfall"), a movie about the last days of the Third Reich, set in Berlin. i fell asleep about 30 minutes into it, and woke up in time to catch the last 15-20 minutes. then i stayed the night...and have not felt the urge to return home just yet. i'm reviewing a book i will be using in my dissertation, and it is helping my ideas to gel.
and on that note, i'm going to get back to it. once again, THANK YOU to everyone who came out to help me celebrate, and to everyone who wrote to wish me a happy birthday.
so far being 39 feels just peachy, thanks...
the birthday night was a smashing success, i have to say. i would like to extend a heartfelt THANK YOU to everyone who came out to help me celebrate.
there were odd features: a few too many different worlds colliding. it started with a relaxed, friendly meal of sushi. that was followed by two loud bars with seating that didn't properly accomodate the expanding group, and finally a dance club with literally no room on the dance floor for actual dancing. as the night progressed i felt increasingly fractured, splintered within and without--one friend said it was like being at a wedding reception, when i described the feeling, which at that point had been brought on by my bouncing from one table to the other so i could talk to everyone. which actually amounted to shouting in the general direction of whichever person i wanted to talk to, because the music was so loud we couldn't hear each other. i was extremely hoarse by the end of the night.
abstract generalized thought about this topic: why does a place that calls itself a "lounge" play music of a type and at a volume more appropriate to a dance club? a corollary: why are there no true lounges, places where groups of people can enjoy cocktails and actually socialize, in seattle?
i believe it is very closely related to the state of the planet under global capitalism, but maybe that's just me. (this is an inside joke that only one person out there will truly get...but now the rest of you know you're not truly getting it, which is pretty fun for me. see how i am??)
after the festivities wound up or down, depending on your cliche preference, i took a rambling, somewhat emotional walk up broadway, from pike to harrison, by myself. i ended the night (which was morning by then) with someone who was happy to listen, which was good. i was very sad; one might even call it a moderate "meltdown," but sometimes that is just what's called for, and it helped to inaugurate the contemplative mood i'm enjoying today. so......it's all good.
and now i feel the need to detox, both physically and psychically, to reflect on the fractures and splinters, toss the bones and divine some sort of larger meaning from them, a larger meaning that might serve as the basis for a better agenda than the one i've been following for the last year or so. i need to unearth the sense of purpose and focus i had, when i first moved to seattle for grad school. i lost that, somewhere along the way--not completely, of course; it surfaces from time to time--but it is not the driving paradigm in my life like it was. so i need to spend some time contemplating and configuring, i think. saturday and sunday (thus far) have helped. yesterday i went to a shower for some friends who are expecting twins. i spent a good hour on the floor with the hostess's big akita-shepherd mix. he is the sweetest dog. kept slapping the tip of my nose with his tongue, which made me laugh and also made my heart ache with missing perry, and more generally missing the category "dog" in my life. then i went to the illustrious miss L's house, where i still sit. her grizzly little terrier is sacked out next to me--so i'm getting more dog time, and that makes me feel deeply happy. (how much longer can i go without a dog of my own?) last night we went out for pizza and watched "der Untergang" ("The Downfall"), a movie about the last days of the Third Reich, set in Berlin. i fell asleep about 30 minutes into it, and woke up in time to catch the last 15-20 minutes. then i stayed the night...and have not felt the urge to return home just yet. i'm reviewing a book i will be using in my dissertation, and it is helping my ideas to gel.
and on that note, i'm going to get back to it. once again, THANK YOU to everyone who came out to help me celebrate, and to everyone who wrote to wish me a happy birthday.
so far being 39 feels just peachy, thanks...
