creep

[arguchik]

for some reason i can't get enough of radiohead's song "creep" lately. i have three different versions of the song. there are 2 versions on pablo honey, and i have an ep with a fully acoustic version--thom yorke wailing to an acoustic guitar. it's the version, imo, that sounds the most *creepy*--i.e. the most in keeping with the spirit of the lyrics. it sounds almost untouched by a producer, very raw, emotional, a little too exposed, as if you're witnessing the beginnings of a complete nervous breakdown or something.

the only thing i wish is that thom had stuck with the lyrics on the first version of the song from pablo honey. in that version, he says "you're so fucking special. i wish i was special. but i'm a creep" etc. in the other two versions, he says "you're so very special" etc. it's a bummer, because i think the profanity is more fitting to the song. expresses that mix of anger and longing, alienation and desire, that characterizes so much of radiohead's work, and is the reason i continue to love their music despite their over the top popularity. (usually i lose interest in a band when they start to get huge--this happened with u2, which was my favorite band until about the time the joshua tree came out, and bono became a sanctimonious preacher. ditto van halen, which i loved until about my senior year in high school, when 1984 came out--i hated that album, and don't even get me started on where they went after sammy hagar replaced david lee roth.)

i once had the opportunity to go see u2 in concert. i believe i was in 9th grade, so i was 14 or 15. they were going to play at the fountain street church in downtown grand rapids, michigan, a venue that seats maybe 1000. tickets were something like $10. my mom wouldn't let me go unless i could find someone to go with me. and guess what? i couldn't. first of all, i had very few friends. second of all...nobody knew who they were. it was their october tour. mtv was brand spanking new, and a lot of kids at my school didn't have it yet. here's a link to the concert info. the show i missed: http://www.elevation-tour.com/show991.html

bummer. lol--i'm still bummed.

Comments

[marina-82.livejournal.com]

Lmao...Its great to hear your into Radiohead...my friend Scott and I love em too!!! Acoustic is definitely better...one day I must go down to the guitar lessons shop down the road, and take some guitar lessons...I havent been playing much on my acoustic guitar :(

[arguchik.livejournal.com]

i have been wanting to learn how to play the guitar (yes, acoustic) since i was about 9. my mom wouldn't let me switch from piano lessons to guitar, and she wouldn't buy me a guitar to fool around with. i was 9. what could i do?

unfortunately, my parents were constantly discouraging me, and i *got* discouraged by their discouragement. i had this pathetic "why bother, what's the point?" attitude toward life until.....god, i think it basically lasted until i was 29 or 30. what does it mean, that my marriage really hit the rocks when i started to really change that attitude?

[marina-82.livejournal.com]

yeah...i know what u mean...just a few words can be enough to discourage you...i learned that when I was making the decision between teaching and academia...i guess in the end everyone will have an opinion, and what matters is what you want and are happy to do...last year in January when i left research i knew that i couldnt see myself doing it later on, and one lady at work (our secretary) said stuff like 'why do u want to teach??'...'kids today are so horrible! (aside from making other racist remarks about aboriginal children because I was going to work in rural areas under my teaching scholarship)' and when i told her its because its something ive wanted to do since i was a kid, and because its a stable career, and a great profession for when i decide to have a family, rather than respecting my choices she literally scoffed in my face (she is in her late 50s and never married) and said but your a baby, dont worry about things like that yet you have ages to think about that...firstly, i hate people being condescending and secondly, who was she to interrogate me and tell me my ideas were foolish??

I left research just a month before I started my graduate teaching degree in March 2005 and I guess when I began the course last year, because I was so undecided about what I wanted to do and because of people saying 'why do u want to do teaching?', i felt really lost and i guess thats why I left my postgrad degree after a few weeks...im glad ive taken time off from uni because i really needed it to gain some perspective and to juist take time off...a part of me wishes i went part-time rather than dropped out of my course entirely...but then im happy i took a years break, kept up with readings and did some voluntary teaching...it has given my perspective and even though teaching isnt the easiest job in the world, i know that with experience and time i will become better...its not like ive closed the door on research entirely..you know? I mean I still have honours under my belt and its not uncommon for people to do their phds later on if they want...actually most of the people I know have begun theirs in their late 20's or early 30's...but right now teaching is what i want to do...