more internal monologue

[arguchik]

pursuant to yesterday's post...

"jeez, why are you so down on yourself all the time? what are you, an idiot? be nice to yourself. don't you know that all this negativity is what's really slowing you down? grow some self-confidence, already..."

LOL. metaguilt. i am my own catholic mother.

Comments

[rojonoir.livejournal.com]

metaguilt. i am my own catholic mother.

That would be meta-meta-guilt? :)

FWIW, when I was working on my master's thesis, my advisor gave me a great article about how it was very common for grad students to lose confidence and get depressed. It recommended a bunch of tricks like thesis-buddies to try to keep your spirit up.

So, all the negative feelings and self-doubt - that's proof that you are fitting in just fine, or at least as well as anyone else.

Good luck!

[jennaxide.livejournal.com]

It's hard to comment on posts of suffering when anything I might say doesn't actually contribute, but I want you to know that I am listening and appreciate the updates. I know sometimes it doesn't seem like it, but those of us out here on your internets are here for you.

That being said, I do the 'cheer-up-jackass' thing to myself all the time. Always have. When I'd break up with someone I'd spend days abusing my hopes with nasty truths: 'he's not thinking about you, he's never going to call, and he might be a fucktard but he's a fucktard that STILL isn't thinking about you...'just so that I could get over it already.

But I agree, it adds a kind of insult to injury when you beat yourself up about being down. Lately I've been letting go and wallowing around in my misery, owning it, shouting or crying or whatever, and that seems to be more effective at lightening me up then trying to guilt myself into it. It's worth a shot.