My understanding is that at least a good chunk of what you're talking about is part of the ritual of getting a PhD. I went through a lot of the same feelings you're having when I was finishing up my M.S. -- thankfully my advisor gave me a great article on the subject so I was able to realize it wasn't just me.
Since then, I've found that the same thing seems to happen on any large multi-year project, and I've been through several. You start out excited and have a feeling that anything is possible and that the course you're going down is perfect without compromise. By the end, you're slogging through, cutting and slashing and nothing seems to fit, and you're just wishing the hell would end. You look at your final product and rather than see what went right, all you see are the imperfections and failure.
Some time later, you can look back and be proud of what you've done, as well as laugh off the imperfections.
As for your dad's approach to life vs. others, I think it's hard all around. Part of that is the whole messed up system we live under, part is probably just what it means to be human.
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Date: 2009-11-20 12:19 am (UTC)Since then, I've found that the same thing seems to happen on any large multi-year project, and I've been through several. You start out excited and have a feeling that anything is possible and that the course you're going down is perfect without compromise. By the end, you're slogging through, cutting and slashing and nothing seems to fit, and you're just wishing the hell would end. You look at your final product and rather than see what went right, all you see are the imperfections and failure.
Some time later, you can look back and be proud of what you've done, as well as laugh off the imperfections.
As for your dad's approach to life vs. others, I think it's hard all around. Part of that is the whole messed up system we live under, part is probably just what it means to be human.
Now back to work for me... :)