darkness and dawn

sometimes it does get darker before the dawn... the funny thing is how fast life can change from one to the other and back again. exams were done, i was feeling great--wrote two 15+ page essays in 72 hours. then i heard from my advisor: they wanted me to revise one of the essays. suddenly not feeling so great. over the next few days i oscillated between freaked out, pissed off, scared, worried, and even self-righteous once or twice. i had a nightmare weekend writing the revision, melted down for too many hours, and barely pulled the thing out before the deadline. it's a wonder my stomach survived. now i'm getting feedback from my committee about the revision--so far it's very positive. i'll get the actual, specific comments over the next couple of days, and then...i just have to survive the 2-hour oral exam.

i don't quite trust the upturn yet though. i'm tentative about letting myself feel optimistic. can you blame me? we'll see, she says. we'll see.

meanwhile, pass the m&m's. no...the big bag.