good to be home

it's good to be home. i spent christmas (8 days including christmas, that is) in michigan with family. overall i had a good time--fun with nieces and nephews, only a couple of political arguments, only a couple of tense moments with my mom. got home to fog so thick i didn't even see the runway coming until the plane was on it. soon the new quarter starts. i'm writing a syllabus, contemplating life as a ph.c. and wondering *when* i'm going to get my butt overseas. i'm looking at spring break real hard...can i afford it? should i do it anyway, even if i *can't* afford it? my running shoes are giving me that look, begging to go out.

as with every late december, i find myself contemplating life, life choices, lifestyles, life stories, life affirmations. being around my family, who have all followed very conventional paths as compared to my crazy quilt of a vagabond life...i feel grateful for how i've done it, the things i have grabbed onto, the things i have let go of, the things i have resisted. it's hard not to wonder about more conventional paths sometimes, and to worry about some of the things other people have that i don't have; but whenever i find myself surrounded by people who are on those paths (social, religious, economic, etc.), i feel short of air and i long to get back to my own space.

new year's resolutions:
-run the portland marathon
-get a BIG chunk of my dissertation written
-apply for dissertation fellowships
-take a trip someplace *other than* the u.s. or canada (ireland? germany?)
-present at 2 conferences and publish an article

happy new year, everyone! it's very, very good to be home!