i'm home! i've been here for 4 days now, and it's so nice. i almost cried, walking down broadway for the first time tuesday afternoon. people asking for change, the pervasive smell of coffee and cooking food, the music from sidewalk cafes...
being with family for so long (4 weeks!) has demonstrated to me: a) the power they still have, to evoke feelings (good and bad--both guilt and love), hopes, and frustrations i thought i had left behind long ago; and b) that my teenaged rebellion, the desire i felt every day to both fight with and flee from my family, was not irrational or driven by hormonal fluctuations. it was a rational response to a fucked up situation. it's so contradictory and confusing...to love them, and to want to get far away from them, all at once. why why why?
being with family for so long (4 weeks!) has demonstrated to me: a) the power they still have, to evoke feelings (good and bad--both guilt and love), hopes, and frustrations i thought i had left behind long ago; and b) that my teenaged rebellion, the desire i felt every day to both fight with and flee from my family, was not irrational or driven by hormonal fluctuations. it was a rational response to a fucked up situation. it's so contradictory and confusing...to love them, and to want to get far away from them, all at once. why why why?