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here's a little pearl from carolyn hax's online chat today (accessible through the washingtonpost.com site):
"If you err by trusting your instincts, you lose a guy. If you err by ignoring your instincts, you lose yourself."
good advice well beyond the intended context. replace the word "guy" with "friend" or some other applicable word. i thought i had learned this lesson during my divorce--i have always considered it the most valuable thing i got from the experience, actually (alongside my freedom and independence, of which it is a crucial part): first learning how to hear my own interior voice (my instincts), and then learning how to listen to it and act accordingly, trust it to interpret a situation and light the best path through (there isn't always a good path, but there's usually a path that's not as bad as the others). lately i've had to re-learn that. it's disconcerting, but understandable i guess. it's hard when the warning bells tell you to give up something you really want, or to do something that might hurt someone else's feelings or even cause a rift. but even if the outcome is unfortunate, or you think later that you might have made a mistake, your instincts can learn from that and do better next time. the truth is, though.....i can't think of a time when i've regretted listening to that voice, and i can think of plenty of times when i've regretted *not* listening to it.
"If you err by trusting your instincts, you lose a guy. If you err by ignoring your instincts, you lose yourself."
good advice well beyond the intended context. replace the word "guy" with "friend" or some other applicable word. i thought i had learned this lesson during my divorce--i have always considered it the most valuable thing i got from the experience, actually (alongside my freedom and independence, of which it is a crucial part): first learning how to hear my own interior voice (my instincts), and then learning how to listen to it and act accordingly, trust it to interpret a situation and light the best path through (there isn't always a good path, but there's usually a path that's not as bad as the others). lately i've had to re-learn that. it's disconcerting, but understandable i guess. it's hard when the warning bells tell you to give up something you really want, or to do something that might hurt someone else's feelings or even cause a rift. but even if the outcome is unfortunate, or you think later that you might have made a mistake, your instincts can learn from that and do better next time. the truth is, though.....i can't think of a time when i've regretted listening to that voice, and i can think of plenty of times when i've regretted *not* listening to it.
