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wish me luck. jester's vet appointment is this afternoon. we'll see what she says about these lumps. if it's bad, i may be coming home without a cat.
Oct. 29th, 2005
just got back from the vet with jester. she said the lumps are bad, possibly (probably?) an invasive cancer. i have been feeling around them over the last few weeks, and have gotten to know them pretty well. at first i only felt the smaller ones that are closer to the surface, but there's a deeper one that the smaller ones seem to be attached to, and that one is quite large, maybe 2 inches across. the smaller ones range from 1/2-1 centimeter or so, and there's maybe 4-5 of them. they did a needle aspiration, took some cell samples, and i'll have definitive results on monday. jester has also developed a "very pronounced heart murmur." that wasn't there at our last appointment a year ago, and i can't recall him ever having one before. so he's apparently having valve trouble in his heart now, too.
a few years ago, when he was 6 or 7 maybe, he started attacking the vet. it was so bad, my vet in vermont had to wear firefighting gloves and a face shield, because jester would attack so aggressively, and they made me start dosing him with valium a half hour before any appointment (even when the mobile vet came to my house). last year when we went, i gave him the valium, and he was totally fine during the appointment, so i figured i'd try it without this time. i also walked him to the office on a leash instead of in his crate. i ended up carrying him the whole way--he hollered the whole way there and back, too--but it was much easier carrying him than carrying a big crate. and it's *much* better not having to watch him come down off the valium today. they always say it should clear from his system in 2-3 hours, but for some reason it has always taken him closer to 24 hours to get back to normal.
right now he's sitting in the middle of the floor looking around, either completely baffled or completely exhausted, it's hard to tell which. i'm sure he'll curl up and go to sleep soon. as for me...i'm starting to have an allergy attack. i think i'm going to need to shower, i'm just completely covered in cat hair and dander. yow--i have a huge hive on my neck by my ear! i tell you, this cat and me, we're a match made in heaven.
if this is cancer, i think i'm going to see if i can get a mobile vet to come to my apartment and euthanize him, sooner rather than later. i can't afford to have it removed, and i'm not sure i *should* put a 15 year old cat through major surgery (the deeper tumor feels like it extends into his abdominal cavity, so it would be major surgery). and i really don't want him to have to go through the pain and the decline of cancer--nor do i want to watch that happen. his behaviour problems had almost pushed me to that point anyway...but i couldn't bring myself to do it today. lately those problems have been a lot better because he has been sleeping a lot. not a good sign, i know. another bad sign: i thought he had gained weight this summer, but he has actually lost a pound and a half since he was last at the vet. apparenly he's bloated. so...we'll see what we're dealing with on monday, and take it from there.
sigh. seems like this year i'm wearing a "kick me" sign or something. i'm ready for that to be done.
a few years ago, when he was 6 or 7 maybe, he started attacking the vet. it was so bad, my vet in vermont had to wear firefighting gloves and a face shield, because jester would attack so aggressively, and they made me start dosing him with valium a half hour before any appointment (even when the mobile vet came to my house). last year when we went, i gave him the valium, and he was totally fine during the appointment, so i figured i'd try it without this time. i also walked him to the office on a leash instead of in his crate. i ended up carrying him the whole way--he hollered the whole way there and back, too--but it was much easier carrying him than carrying a big crate. and it's *much* better not having to watch him come down off the valium today. they always say it should clear from his system in 2-3 hours, but for some reason it has always taken him closer to 24 hours to get back to normal.
right now he's sitting in the middle of the floor looking around, either completely baffled or completely exhausted, it's hard to tell which. i'm sure he'll curl up and go to sleep soon. as for me...i'm starting to have an allergy attack. i think i'm going to need to shower, i'm just completely covered in cat hair and dander. yow--i have a huge hive on my neck by my ear! i tell you, this cat and me, we're a match made in heaven.
if this is cancer, i think i'm going to see if i can get a mobile vet to come to my apartment and euthanize him, sooner rather than later. i can't afford to have it removed, and i'm not sure i *should* put a 15 year old cat through major surgery (the deeper tumor feels like it extends into his abdominal cavity, so it would be major surgery). and i really don't want him to have to go through the pain and the decline of cancer--nor do i want to watch that happen. his behaviour problems had almost pushed me to that point anyway...but i couldn't bring myself to do it today. lately those problems have been a lot better because he has been sleeping a lot. not a good sign, i know. another bad sign: i thought he had gained weight this summer, but he has actually lost a pound and a half since he was last at the vet. apparenly he's bloated. so...we'll see what we're dealing with on monday, and take it from there.
sigh. seems like this year i'm wearing a "kick me" sign or something. i'm ready for that to be done.
