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running is not in the cards today. it keeps raining. not a lot. just enough to make me all wimpy and "i don't want to get wet" whiny. now it's 1:15pm and i just want to take a shower, already. i feel scummy. i'm also hungry for lunch, which will make running difficult until late afternoon (i run best on an empty stomach, oddly--and the shower thing...i HAVE to shower after running, so if i shower now that means i won't run today, because i just can't justify taking two showers in a day). that's ok i guess, i'll just run tomorrow morning instead, even though tomorrow is supposed to be a rest day.
plus i'm writing like a madwoman. i have written like 6 single spaced pages just this morning, about biopower. a lot of it is quoted from the books i'm using, but the quotations are just a framework. i will be spending the afternoon filling in that skeleton with the muscles of my own ideas.
also on the agenda for today: reading the project descriptions written by the other members of my new dissertation writing group. i met with my friend S last night, to get the descriptions and to discuss another project we want to present to the group on friday. i sent them a draft of my prospectus (which is seriously going to TRANSMOGRIFY this weekend, after i get their feedback, and after i'm done building my franken-biopower-stein-monster this afternoon) yesterday, and that is on the discussion agenda for friday's meeting.
i got some disappointing news last night, regarding a job i had applied for (i'm short-listed as an alternate, but didn't make the final cut), but things are looking up. my file has been forwarded to another program, and i am still going to be applying for other stuff through my home department and elsewhere for next year. i'm somewhat regretting that i didn't apply for funding through IWP (the interdisciplinary writing program) in my department. there are numerous reasons why i didn't; now those reasons seem a little dumb, because at least it would have been something.
the last two years have been a wasteland for me, in terms of academic progress. it feels good to be moving in the right direction again. it is so much harder now, though, than it would have been if i'd been able to keep moving back then; i feel like i have a lot of face and trust to regain, from my department and from my colleagues--and most of all from myself. this has caused me no small amount of despair, especially over the last year, as i have felt myself moving in the wrong direction, getting further and further off-track, feeling more and more uncertain about how to jump back to the track i want to be on. i'm there now, but it feels wobbly and tenuous still, and it will take a lot of energy to steady myself and keep moving. one thing at a time.......
plus i'm writing like a madwoman. i have written like 6 single spaced pages just this morning, about biopower. a lot of it is quoted from the books i'm using, but the quotations are just a framework. i will be spending the afternoon filling in that skeleton with the muscles of my own ideas.
also on the agenda for today: reading the project descriptions written by the other members of my new dissertation writing group. i met with my friend S last night, to get the descriptions and to discuss another project we want to present to the group on friday. i sent them a draft of my prospectus (which is seriously going to TRANSMOGRIFY this weekend, after i get their feedback, and after i'm done building my franken-biopower-stein-monster this afternoon) yesterday, and that is on the discussion agenda for friday's meeting.
i got some disappointing news last night, regarding a job i had applied for (i'm short-listed as an alternate, but didn't make the final cut), but things are looking up. my file has been forwarded to another program, and i am still going to be applying for other stuff through my home department and elsewhere for next year. i'm somewhat regretting that i didn't apply for funding through IWP (the interdisciplinary writing program) in my department. there are numerous reasons why i didn't; now those reasons seem a little dumb, because at least it would have been something.
the last two years have been a wasteland for me, in terms of academic progress. it feels good to be moving in the right direction again. it is so much harder now, though, than it would have been if i'd been able to keep moving back then; i feel like i have a lot of face and trust to regain, from my department and from my colleagues--and most of all from myself. this has caused me no small amount of despair, especially over the last year, as i have felt myself moving in the wrong direction, getting further and further off-track, feeling more and more uncertain about how to jump back to the track i want to be on. i'm there now, but it feels wobbly and tenuous still, and it will take a lot of energy to steady myself and keep moving. one thing at a time.......
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