language fatigue

[arguchik]

my new job is kicking my ass. my preexisting job is also kicking my ass. having two jobs, that's what is actually kicking my ass.

it's ok, overall, except that the excess of "talking" work (which characterizes both teaching and organizing--both are talk focused; not that i'm always the one talking, but even when i'm listening, what am i listening to? talk!) is starting to steal language away from me. this might sound paradoxical. i'm talking a lot, so it stands to reason that i'd get better with language, not worse. what i mean is that i am becoming a sloppy talker because i'm tired of talking and tired of listening. to put it more cognitively, i'm tired of processing meaning, whether my own or someone else's. the loop of processing, framing, responding, revising, reframing, reprocessing, etc. is running my brain ragged. i feel like i need more time to just sit and read, write (which is different because it gives me more time to process. i'm not at the mercy of the conversational pace)...but my desire even to read and write is ebbing too. hence, the deplorable lack of journal entries of late. yeah...talk...stealing language...stealing my desire for language. i feel like i have nothing to say. the word tank is on E.

Comments

[marina-82.livejournal.com]

Im sorry to hear that Sharon...I can't believe I'm saying this so early into the year, but maybe you need a break? Actually, maybe thats not the answer, taking a break is not all its cracked up to be, work piles up and gets you deeper into more shit...if it helps I'm feeling quite depressed today too...it seems that my intentions to do well in my teaching course were in vain...i found out today that one of my second semester subjects will not run this year and so i have to do that elective in my first semester this year...thats going to mean that i do 6 subjects instead of 5....shhesh...i wish i could look past it but today thats the only thing ive been thinking about...i think both u and i need a hug right now...here's one from me...

[glaucon.livejournal.com]

http://acc6.its.brooklyn.cuny.edu/~phalsall/texts/taote-v3.html

[avisionaire.livejournal.com]

I found the same to be true when I worked as an editor. There were years where I was barely motivated to post, nevermind write anything substancial.

It's been my experience that when anything creative becomes a profession, there is a risk that the joy and energy around the act of creation will become more mundane, leading to a reduction in productivity.