language fatigue

[arguchik]

my new job is kicking my ass. my preexisting job is also kicking my ass. having two jobs, that's what is actually kicking my ass.

it's ok, overall, except that the excess of "talking" work (which characterizes both teaching and organizing--both are talk focused; not that i'm always the one talking, but even when i'm listening, what am i listening to? talk!) is starting to steal language away from me. this might sound paradoxical. i'm talking a lot, so it stands to reason that i'd get better with language, not worse. what i mean is that i am becoming a sloppy talker because i'm tired of talking and tired of listening. to put it more cognitively, i'm tired of processing meaning, whether my own or someone else's. the loop of processing, framing, responding, revising, reframing, reprocessing, etc. is running my brain ragged. i feel like i need more time to just sit and read, write (which is different because it gives me more time to process. i'm not at the mercy of the conversational pace)...but my desire even to read and write is ebbing too. hence, the deplorable lack of journal entries of late. yeah...talk...stealing language...stealing my desire for language. i feel like i have nothing to say. the word tank is on E.

Comments

[marina-82.livejournal.com]

Im sorry to hear that Sharon...I can't believe I'm saying this so early into the year, but maybe you need a break? Actually, maybe thats not the answer, taking a break is not all its cracked up to be, work piles up and gets you deeper into more shit...if it helps I'm feeling quite depressed today too...it seems that my intentions to do well in my teaching course were in vain...i found out today that one of my second semester subjects will not run this year and so i have to do that elective in my first semester this year...thats going to mean that i do 6 subjects instead of 5....shhesh...i wish i could look past it but today thats the only thing ive been thinking about...i think both u and i need a hug right now...here's one from me...

[arguchik.livejournal.com]

a break...that sounds nice, but no, i don't get one any time soon. i just had one.

here's a hug back to galvanize you...sounds like you have a tough semester ahead, but i know you'll kick ass.

[glaucon.livejournal.com]

http://acc6.its.brooklyn.cuny.edu/~phalsall/texts/taote-v3.html

thanks--i like #11

[arguchik.livejournal.com]

We join spokes together in a wheel,
but it is the center hole
that makes the wagon move.

We shape clay into a pot,
but it is the emptiness inside
that holds whatever we want.

We hammer wood for a house,
but it is the inner space
that makes it livable.

We work with being,
but non-being is what we use

[avisionaire.livejournal.com]

I found the same to be true when I worked as an editor. There were years where I was barely motivated to post, nevermind write anything substancial.

It's been my experience that when anything creative becomes a profession, there is a risk that the joy and energy around the act of creation will become more mundane, leading to a reduction in productivity.

[arguchik.livejournal.com]

lol--unless you're stephen king, i suppose... or robert jordan. or danielle steele.

(are they doing "creative" work? it's almost formulaic and assembly-line at this point.)

[avisionaire.livejournal.com]

Exactly. hehe It would be interesting to ask any of them if the joy of creation is the same for them now as it was before writing became their profession. I'm sure it is for some of them, but likely not for most.