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arguchikREADING: next by michael crichton. i'm only like 5-6 pages in, so i have no idea what i think of it yet.
WEARING: i haven't gotten out of bed yet, except to pee, so i'm wearing underwear and a t-shirt because it was chilly last night, and i slept alone.
PLANNING: to run in a little while. once i'm done waking up. i've taken a week hiatus from running. this week has been very disorienting...big changes, giving up both the job and the coffee/caffeine. i have felt a bit like a wind sock, at times; or a snow globe in the hands of a 3 year old. at times like this, i try not to get all drill sergeant with myself, and instead to trust my instincts to take me where i need to be, and to motivate me to do what i need to do. this week that was to rest. and things are settling out OK. i'm feeling more energetic and self-directed again. a funny thing happens, when you listen to your interior voice: you hear it. i only regret that i lost track of it for so long; and that, instead of recognizing the loss and doing the work to find/hear it again, i let other, louder voices from outside of myself take over. i just kept feeling more and more lost, and the more lost i felt, the more tempted i was by other peoples' certainty. now that i'm more in touch with my voice again, though, i realize it has been perfectly audible all along, it was simply easier to let other people lead than it was to speak and to follow my own mind.
WEARING: i haven't gotten out of bed yet, except to pee, so i'm wearing underwear and a t-shirt because it was chilly last night, and i slept alone.
PLANNING: to run in a little while. once i'm done waking up. i've taken a week hiatus from running. this week has been very disorienting...big changes, giving up both the job and the coffee/caffeine. i have felt a bit like a wind sock, at times; or a snow globe in the hands of a 3 year old. at times like this, i try not to get all drill sergeant with myself, and instead to trust my instincts to take me where i need to be, and to motivate me to do what i need to do. this week that was to rest. and things are settling out OK. i'm feeling more energetic and self-directed again. a funny thing happens, when you listen to your interior voice: you hear it. i only regret that i lost track of it for so long; and that, instead of recognizing the loss and doing the work to find/hear it again, i let other, louder voices from outside of myself take over. i just kept feeling more and more lost, and the more lost i felt, the more tempted i was by other peoples' certainty. now that i'm more in touch with my voice again, though, i realize it has been perfectly audible all along, it was simply easier to let other people lead than it was to speak and to follow my own mind.
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