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my new job is kicking my ass. my preexisting job is also kicking my ass. having two jobs, that's what is actually kicking my ass.
it's ok, overall, except that the excess of "talking" work (which characterizes both teaching and organizing--both are talk focused; not that i'm always the one talking, but even when i'm listening, what am i listening to? talk!) is starting to steal language away from me. this might sound paradoxical. i'm talking a lot, so it stands to reason that i'd get better with language, not worse. what i mean is that i am becoming a sloppy talker because i'm tired of talking and tired of listening. to put it more cognitively, i'm tired of processing meaning, whether my own or someone else's. the loop of processing, framing, responding, revising, reframing, reprocessing, etc. is running my brain ragged. i feel like i need more time to just sit and read, write (which is different because it gives me more time to process. i'm not at the mercy of the conversational pace)...but my desire even to read and write is ebbing too. hence, the deplorable lack of journal entries of late. yeah...talk...stealing language...stealing my desire for language. i feel like i have nothing to say. the word tank is on E.
it's ok, overall, except that the excess of "talking" work (which characterizes both teaching and organizing--both are talk focused; not that i'm always the one talking, but even when i'm listening, what am i listening to? talk!) is starting to steal language away from me. this might sound paradoxical. i'm talking a lot, so it stands to reason that i'd get better with language, not worse. what i mean is that i am becoming a sloppy talker because i'm tired of talking and tired of listening. to put it more cognitively, i'm tired of processing meaning, whether my own or someone else's. the loop of processing, framing, responding, revising, reframing, reprocessing, etc. is running my brain ragged. i feel like i need more time to just sit and read, write (which is different because it gives me more time to process. i'm not at the mercy of the conversational pace)...but my desire even to read and write is ebbing too. hence, the deplorable lack of journal entries of late. yeah...talk...stealing language...stealing my desire for language. i feel like i have nothing to say. the word tank is on E.
