(no subject)

[arguchik]

wow.

20 years melts away like nothing.

doing my housework, radio on in the background tuned to npr. they're playing a prairie home companion, which i usually turn off because i can't fucking stand garrison keillor, but i'm too busy to bother with it.

suddenly their special guest, renee fleming, comes on and sings the ave maria. and i freeze. 20 years ago almost to the day--it will be 20 years on monday--was my sister's funeral mass. my mom's friend lorraine hardebeck (also an operatically trained soprano) sang the ave maria that day, and it remains one of the most memorable moments, for me (it was also the first time i ever heard that piece sung well). lorraine was no renee fleming, of course, but she was a professional musician (as was my mom--they went to high school together, for crying out loud), and her unamplified voice filled the place and made a bunch of people cry. so of course renee's rendition makes me cry today. makes me think about my sister and how much life she missed (she was only 29), but also my mom and dad, how completely demolished they were by my sister's death, and what they're going through now, facing the end of their own lives.

christ. from nowhere. one minute i'm struggling to organize a stack of books, minding my own business and thinking about everything *but* my sister, and the next i'm on the floor bawling as though her funeral were the day after tomorrow.

weird to think that she'd be pushing 50 now, if she had lived. and i'm sure she'd have no sympathy for me, pushing 39...

Comments

[marina-82.livejournal.com]

I never knew your sister had passed away at such a young age...the best thing about music is that when you listen to songs they take you back in time to special moments in your life...they may not always be good, but the important thing is that it never lets you forget...you should listen to 'Slide show' by Travis...its about the effect music can have on your life and the fact that if you listened to all the different songs that happened at important times in your life, you would be able to visualise a slide show of your life in your head...

'Slide Show' by Travis

[marina-82.livejournal.com]

Artist: Travis
Músic: Slide Show

Today is the day
For dancing and for singing
The birds in the trees and all
The bells are ringing
The sun is in the sky
Is bright as bright second light
Is bright oh god I hope I'm alright

Cause I'm gonna cry
Hold on, hold on
Slow down, slow down
You're out of touch
Out of touch
'Cause there is no design for life
There's no devil's haircut in my mind
There is not a wonderwall to climb
To climb or step around
But there is a slide show and it's so slow
Flashing through my mind

Today was the day
But only for the first time
Hold on, hold on
Slow down, slow down
You're out of touch
Out of touch

'Cause there is no design for life
There is no devil's haircut in your mind
There is not a wonderwall
To climb or step around
But there is a slidesshow and it's so slow
Flashing through my mind

Today was the day
But only for the first time
I hope it's not the last time

Re: 'Slide Show' by Travis

[arguchik.livejournal.com]

thank you, those are cool lyrics. i checked them out online--i didn't really know who they were before. i listened to a couple of tracks, and they sound pretty cool.

i really like belle and sebastian, too, speaking of scottish bands...

Re: 'Slide Show' by Travis

[marina-82.livejournal.com]

Yeah Belle and Sabastian are great...listening to them makes me so giddy with joy that i usually feel like laughing out loud and dancing like an idiot on the train/bus to uni!! :)

[(Anonymous)]

"20 years ago almost to the day--it will be 20 years on monday--was my sister's funeral mass."

Holy Cow ... I can't believe it either. =o(

[arguchik.livejournal.com]

yeah...lol...we were such puppies then. were you there, btw? i'm sorry but i can't remember. i remember that greg and his parents were there, and it was like he was afraid to come near me, despite the fact that he had been sleeping with me for almost 2 years at that point (year and a half, anyway). in retrospect i can't blame him. it's pretty huge when your 18-year-old girlfriend loses a sister like that.