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arguchikall i've got to say is, i'm very *off* online dating. permanently. makes me feel like a commodified piece of meat. (which i'm not, in case you were wondering.)
i have done it off and on for the last couple of years, and in almost every case (with one exception) it has led to the weirdest, fakest, most annoying interactions. you get more dates, it's true, but more often than not (in my experience) they turn icky. and it happens really quickly and somewhat inexplicably. i think the online dating format intensifies the commodified, meat market aspect of the dating scene. or maybe it's just me. yes...that actually makes some sense, because in the "real world" i avoid meat market scenes like the plague--i HATE them! so the online dating scene could just be a virtual meat market, no better or worse than a "real" meat market. it just seems inordinately bad to me because i'm not used to meat markets, and i don't understand the social codes people use in them. hmmm. no...i understand the codes, they just gross me out and i don't want to use them.
either way, i'm not going to do it anymore. (i know, i have made this pledge before, but this time i mean it. a very recent experience has sealed it.)
i have done it off and on for the last couple of years, and in almost every case (with one exception) it has led to the weirdest, fakest, most annoying interactions. you get more dates, it's true, but more often than not (in my experience) they turn icky. and it happens really quickly and somewhat inexplicably. i think the online dating format intensifies the commodified, meat market aspect of the dating scene. or maybe it's just me. yes...that actually makes some sense, because in the "real world" i avoid meat market scenes like the plague--i HATE them! so the online dating scene could just be a virtual meat market, no better or worse than a "real" meat market. it just seems inordinately bad to me because i'm not used to meat markets, and i don't understand the social codes people use in them. hmmm. no...i understand the codes, they just gross me out and i don't want to use them.
either way, i'm not going to do it anymore. (i know, i have made this pledge before, but this time i mean it. a very recent experience has sealed it.)
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no subject
Date: 2005-12-17 12:45 pm (UTC)i sometimes think the *size* of online dating databases (literally thousands of people) triggers a consumerist attitude in many people, a "shopping" mentality that carries over to the first several dates. it's really easy to go back online and do a new search, so there's no reason *not* to just throw someone away as soon as they fail to meet one of the items on a list of desired "features." that's the experience i've had, anyway. i'm glad your experience has been different--i know other people who have had better experiences too, so maybe it is just the service i have used. i also wonder if the difference in our ages--thus (probably) in the ages of the guys we're meeting up with--might be a factor in our different experiences.