woe is my self-confidence

[arguchik]

ugh. polishing up my CV and other application materials. i suck. i don't belong in academia.

/self-denigration

seriously, i HATE putting together application materials--it makes me feel hopelessly inadequate under the best of circumstances. but when i look at my academic work over the last 3 years, all neatly bullet-pointed in my CV, it looks like a wasteland of missed opportunities, lack of initiative, and time spent doing other things. these "other things" were not necessarily time-wasters: i have put a lot of time into organizing my union local over the last 5+ years (i've been centrally involved for most of that time); last year i worked 2 jobs during winter quarter, then spent several months doing union organizing work in california; the previous summer i spent a month in michigan taking care of my mother when she had back surgery. my dog died. my dad started having mini-strokes (the first one also resulted in a severe concussion). my cat died. broke up with a couple of different boys. had my appendix out, with ensuing and ongoing drama.

excuses^3.

but jeez, my CV is producing self-confidence quakes that would pin a seismometer needle. how do i turn this discouragement, disappointment, and self-denigration around, into motivation and the impetus to go out and "do" academic work again? how do i talk myself out of throwing in the towel, and into tossing my hat into the ring, for the various academic appointments i want to apply for? (quick, call the cliche police...)

is it too late for me? have i wasted my chance at an academic career?

Comments

[marina-82.livejournal.com]

You definitely haven't wasted your academic career. Sometimes we see the things we do as ordinary, but you need to realise that not many people go down the path you have chosen, which in itself makes you stand out from other people. I think part of making yourself stand out from other applicants is to dig deeper into your academic history and elaborate on what makes you special. Perhaps you can go to a career advisor at UW to help you write a comprehensive CV.

When I applied for independent schools I had to see an advisor and she took all my dot points and elaborated on them, so much so that the stuff that I took for granted and I thought might be perhaps a slight bonus, became the focus of the CV instead. Keep your chin up, I'm sure you will write a great CV.

[arguchik.livejournal.com]

thanks for the encouragement--it helps a lot!